Homonid

…it goes and throws Hoku’s “Perfect Day” in the mix.  I can’t help but be insulted really.

Unless they are from Europe.  They have their own built-in condoms.  

Don’t you always hate it when after you masturbate you always want something to eat? Or “after sex” for those of you fortunate enough to have someone to stick it in.  But It’s not really the eating part I hate, it’s what I am eating that I hate.

It is always in a jar of some sort.  With lube on my hands, even the most minor of tasks seem frustrating and depressing.  

Do you know what it’s like not being able to open a jar of pickles with lube all over your hands.  The irony is so good, it’s like God is taunting me.   He is in Heaven, sitting on a throne of 30 naked virgins…or something from the Cindy Crawford Collection, watching the scene unfold on his Holy Hulu channel.  He keeps replaying the part where I say, “God damn it, I just want a fucking pickle!”  And then he laughs and says, “Damn I am such a son of a bitch.”

There is nothing worse than feeling the pain of loving someone and coming to the realization that they do not love you in return.

I wish I knew what I could do.  Pray, I guess?

Lord, make my boyfriend love me again.  Please.

I hate him.

Waiting on a boy to call.

Fuck.

Funny Moment:  I can hear my downstairs neighbors having the loudest sex AND two cats outside having, what sounds like, the most painful sex in the world.

I am in my underwear on Tumblr.